Having a nanny is a total privilege and something that I don’t think my wife or I could do without. It’s also something that comes with a decent amount of shame at times for me personally.
I’m pretty certain that most people that have never had a nanny first think of Mary Poppins when the topic comes up.
Because, you know, everyone wants a flying nanny that can blink an eye and instantly clean the house.
Maybe It’s Me. Not You.
I don’t come from a family that has ever had a nanny and frankly, when I was younger, Mary Poppins was the only nanny I’d ever come across.
So maybe the feeling I get when the nanny topic comes up comes from within. Maybe it’s pure insecurity that stems from living in a way that is new and so far from what I knew growing up.
Maybe It’s You. And Not Me.
On the other hand, maybe the shame I occasionally feel stems from others looking down on the concept of having a nanny.
And for that argument, I’d question why anyone would shame a person for being in a place where they can say, “Yes, I need help.”
It’s Actually Really Helpful
I honestly have no idea how my wife and I would make it work if we didn’t have a nanny, especially because we don’t have any family that lives in the area. Sure, people make it work all the time, but I don’t know how we’d pull it off without drastically altering our lives.
I work full-time. She works full-time. And neither of those two things is going to change.
In fact, now that I’ve said those last two lines, it’s dawned on me that the shame I have felt stems from women. Is it because they feel some sort of “womanly” duty isn’t being fulfilled? Is it because they understand how darn hard it is taking care of a kid, especially if it’s full-time, and wish they had the help? Maybe a mixture of both?
At the End of the Day
At the end of the day, nanny or not, raising and taking care of a child is no easy task. No matter if someone has a nanny or not, we shouldn’t be so judgmental as a society.
We all have struggles. They come in all shapes and sizes and the last thing we need is to push our thoughts, jealousy or whatever else onto other parents. Do you.